cupcake_quotes (cupcake_quotes) wrote,

I think I could fall madly in bed with you.

Flies spread disease - keep yours zipped.

When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows.

The only reason I would kick you off my bed, would be to fuck you on the floor.

Love is a sensation, caused by temptation when a guy sticks his location in a girls destination to increase the population for the next generation. Do you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?

Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.

Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?

My name is Sex, PLEASURE to meet you

Love is the desire to be irresistibly desired.
[Robert Frost]

"Sex… could kill you. Do you know what the human body goes through when you have sex? Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets, respiration becomes rapid and shallow, the brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere and secretions spit out of every gland, and the muscles tense and spasm like you're lifting three times your body weight. It's violent, it's ugly, and it's messy, and if God hadn't made it unbelievably fun… the human race would have died out eons ago... Men are lucky they can only have one orgasm. You know that women can have an hour-long orgasm? ... Hey, Foreman. What's up?" - Cameron on "House, MD"

here's my lotion..
go have fun in my bathroom,
because it's the only thing you're
getting from me.

you thought this was love?
it was just me moaning
&&saying I loved the way you
banged my headboard.

Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.

Sex relieves tension - love causes it. ~ Woody Allen

Sex. In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact.

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.

To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

Tell him I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa.

An erection is like the Theory of Relativity - the more you think about it, the harder it gets.

I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.

Tags: sex
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